I think about my spirituality (it's not religion, that has too much baggage for me) alot. I have a long ass drive to and from work, usually at oh dark thirty in the morning, and when I come home I'm dead tired and need to keep my mind active so I make it home alive. Worked so far. And the usual topic of my inner discourse is how I got to where I am with what I believe, and how and what I believe.
Now I "outed" myself to my rather right leaning Christian family members over on Facebook (Note to hope to be faithful readers: the family doesn't and hopefully won't know about this blog. They'd all totally freak and give me the "farted in church" treatment!) and I dunno, they've been kinda stand-offish lately. They're, well, family; with all the trappings, baggage, quirks, and oddities family come with. They'll also give you the shirt off their back, love each other dearly, and know how to have a good time. So. Ya. Family.
Why did I out my Pagan (well techno neopagan, really) beliefs me an my Kitten, Tina, share? I was led to believe one of my sisters spilled the beans. Thought it was the one, Julie, I get along with (she's #2 behind me, and the older we get, the closer we become; she's got a hint of Scheleprock in her, but she's a gem thru and thru!!), but turns out it's the other, Tracey, with whom Tina and I have a seriously negative "history" with (for some seriously out of line comments at and after our wedding of all places!!! Anyways...) and I'm pretty sure it didn't have a positive spin to it. So there's damage control to do, and I'm gonna let my, and Tina's actions speak for us. We're every bit as good a couple, parents, people, whatever as those that follow a different path. We just see our world, our beliefs differently.
So, having only a vague clue as to where I was going with this, I'll press on. Oh ya, my traffic jam theological solo discourse. Right.
So I have lots of time to ponder this. It rambles alot (REALLY!?!) but always gets back to the start of it all. Back in the late 70's early 80's there was a science mag that what pretty hip; wanna say the name was Nova, but not sure. Anways, at the back of the mag, they had quotes and such and the one that really resonated with me was one that went like this:
"Scientists are climbing the mountain of knowledge one small step at a time; and when they reach the summit, they will find that the theologians have been there all along."This was really WOW stuff for me. It started me down a path that to reconciling my faith in science with my spiritual faith. And also started me seeing the connectedness of life, living, believing, everything.
It got me thinking about all stuff I was taught in chuch school. I questioned it all. Opened it up, looked at the guts, goo, and mechanism on the inside. I took it apart and put it back together in a way that made more sense to me.
That's where it all started. I guess I need to get my feces consolidation factor up where it belongs and work on my personal manifesto, or whatever, a list of what I believe. Like that scene in Bull Durham, where Kostner rattles off a list of all the things he believes in and leaves Sarandon with a breathy "Oh My!"
Anyways, enough deep stuff... More Anon.